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LAYA! [Los Altos Young Adult E-Letter]
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Volume 2 Issue 1
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January 1997
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Happy New Year!
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TABLE OF CONTENTS...

EDITOR'S NOTE
STORIES OF THE BIZARRE
MARRIAGE
GENERAL/SPECIAL KNOWLEDGE QUIZ
PC GAME CHEATS
WEB SITES
SURVEYS
THE TOP 5 & 10 & 20
MYSTERY MESSAGES
LAHS CALENDAR
EGAN CALENDAR

LAYA looks best when viewed with 10 point Arial font.

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EDITOR'S NOTE
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Hello students of Los Altos!

It seems the end of a long vacation to some; but to others disaster (i.e.,
the staff of LAYA!) Aside from a couple of power outages that overran our
hard work, and Daniel Cheng's e-mail address going into non-working order
(you know how the net can be sometimes), we hope you enjoy this issue. If
anyone has anything they would like to submit, please e-mail to
laya@juno.com
Thanks, enjoy!

Robert Chin
Editorial Director of LAYA!

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STORIES OF THE BIZARRE
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Big Mac Attack
Source: AP
LEBANON, Ore. (9-26) -- While at a McDonald's drive-through, Taletha Hurd,
21, became very upset when she discovered hamburgers instead of the
chicken she has ordered. In fact, she became so angry that she crawled
through the drive-up window, destroyed a cash drawer, and tossed food at
the employees.
Taletha was arrested as she was waiting outside the drive-up window of a
Taco Time, right next door to the McDonald's. Two officers were kicked
while trying to arrest the woman. Taletha was charged with criminal
mischief,
assault and theft.

Deadly Birthday - Blame it on the bull.
Source: Reuter
LIMA, Peru (9-20) -- It was Marco Padilla's 74th birthday party. The
Peruvian
man invited all his guests to watch his bullfighting skills immediately
following a barbecue given in his honor. The bull gave Padilla a surprise
birthday present, when it charged the 74-year-old and killed him instantly.
Padilla's friends and relatives killed the bull and sold the meat in order
to
raise money for his funeral.

Boy stabbed father for playing piano
Source: Reuter
CHICAGO (10-7) -- A high school senior stabbed his father in the neck
because he was annoyed by his piano-playing. Michael Grossman, 17,
was held on $250,000 bond and is awaiting trial for attempted murder
and aggravated battery. A policeman's quick actions are credited with
saving the father's life. "(The boy) was doing his homework and didn't
want his father to play the piano," said Highland Park Police Chief
Daniel Dahlberg."

Internet bills add up to boy killing self and mom
Source: Reuter
CHICAGO (10-1) -- Authorities believe that a 12-year-old boy may
have killed his mother and himself as a result of arguments over
Internet related telephone bills. Brad Hoffman and his mother Ann,
42, were found dead in their California, Missouri, home. The woman
was shot six times and the boy once. A gun was found next to the
boy's body. The Moniteau County Sheriff's Office report state that
the family had disputes over the Internet related telephone charges.
Brad's online charges to an Internet Service Provider (ISP) and
telephone company costed the family hundreds of dollars each
month.

HACKENSACK, N.J. (Reuter, 10-1) -- A couple devoted to the care
of troubled children were brutally murdered by their own son.Charles
Buckley, 30, stabbed his father De Witt Crandell, 66, and his mother
Marion, 63, in their own home. The killer is a Las Vegas computer
scientist.

BUENOS AIRES (Reuter, 10-7) -- After serving a 14-year prison
sentence for murder, Daniel Trillo was arrested after only 7 MINUTES
of freedom. 200 yards from the prison gates Trillo was arrested for
possession of stolen property he received while he was in jail.

DETROIT (UPI, 10-7) -- A 7-year-old boy stabbed his 48-year-old
grandfather in the back while the man was arguing with an
unidentified woman. He later died at Grace Hospital in Detroit.

OAKLAND, Calif. (UPI, 10-1) -- It took two postal inspectors three
weeks to log the stolen letters and parcels found inside a postal
worker's home. Authorities found more than 16,000 letters and
packages which were stolen from the San Francisco Bulk Mail
Center by postal clerk Satjagroop Singh Randhawa.

DHAKA, Bangladesh (Reuter, 10-2) -- A man killed his neighbor and
two other people in a fight over a hen.

(C) Copyright 1995, 1996 by Spotlight Publishing, All Rights Reserved.

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MARRIAGE
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Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with
friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow
has, you wish you had ordered that.

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married
the wrong man."

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the
woman gets her master's.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in most countries, son.

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was
until I got married; and then it was too late.

A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the
wife takes.

When a newly married man looks happy we know why. But when a
ten-year married man looks happy - we wonder why.

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks
and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the
man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when
I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and
didn't notice it."

It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends
up with the same boss.

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one
thing: either the car is new or the wife.

A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes.

A woman was telling her friend , "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him." Asked the friend. The woman
replied, " A multi-millionaire".

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GENERAL/SPECIAL KNOWLEDGE QUIZ
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(ONLY IDIOTS WOULD ATTEMPT THIS QUIZ)
GENERAL/SPECIAL KNOWLEDGE QUIZ
Time Allocated: 40 minutes
Text Books: As per joining instruction
Marking: Each question is worth equal marks

1. HISTORY : Describe the history of the Papacy from its origins to
the present date, concentrating especially but not exclusively on
its social, political, economic, religious and philosophical impact
on Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.

2. MEDICINE :You are provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze and a
bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture your
work unit it has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.

Editor's Note: Please do not attempt stated above. We are not responsible
for any consequences.

3 PUBLIC SPEAKING : 2500 riot-crazed immigrants are storming the
local Citizens Advice Bureau, Clam them. You may use any ancient
language except Geek of Latin.

4 BIOLOGY : Create Life. Estimate the differences in subsequent
human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years
later with special attention to its probable effects on the British
Parliamentary party system. Prove your thesis.

5. MUSIC : Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with
flute and drum. Your will find a piano under your seat.

6. SOCIOLOGY : Estimate the sociological problems which might
accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your
theory.

7. ENGINEERING : The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle
have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an
instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes a hungry
Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you
feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

8. POLITICAL SCIENCE : There is a red telephone on the desk behind
you. Start World War III. Report at length on its sociological
aspects, if any.

9. PHILOSOPHY : Sketch the development of human thought; estimate
its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of
thought.

10 GENERAL KNOWLEDGE : Define the universe. Describe in detail.
Give three examples.

11. PHYSICS : Describe the workings of the universe at the molecular
level (see question 10). Pay particular attention to Chaos theory, and using
these two answers, predict the weather in Abu Dhabi (atlas provided) for the
23rd of October, 2463.

12. CHEMISTRY : Synthesise a prostaglandin, a steroid and at least one
heterocyclic compound using Phosphorous. Starting materials include a
ballpoint pen, a bar of soap and a sandwich (hint - a video of McGyver is
provided. Watch closely as he produces a bomb from the aforesaid items -
it may give you vital clues).

NOTE: A pass mark of 85 % is set.

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PC GAME CHEATS
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--- WARCRAFT II ---

Press enter to type in these cheats

god god mode
there can be only one skip to the last movie
unite the clans instant victory
valdez +5000 oil
glittering prizes +gold, lumber, and oil
it is a good day to die god mode and super strength
on screen view entire map with disabled fog of war
make it so increased training and building speeds
hatchet speeds up harvesting of lumber
every little thing she does upgrades all magic
deck me out upgrades all technology
tigerlily replace the # with a number and skip to
that level

Note: These have not been tested, and may not work (we apologize)

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WEB SITES
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--- THE TOP TEN WEB SITES FOR TRAVELING AND COOKING ---

1. gnn.com/cgi-bin/gnn/currency Koblas Currency
Converter
2. gnn.com/gnn/meta/travel/index.html The GNN Traveler Center
3. life.anu.edu.au/weather.html Weather & Global
Monitoring
4. www.mbnet.mb.ca/lucas/travel/ Tourism Offices
Worldwide Directory
5. www.city.net/ City Net
6. www.udg.mx/Cocina/menu.html La Comida Mexicana
7. www.wines.com/wines.html Wines On The Internet
8. www.net-connect.net/cajun/home-c.htm A Cajun Family's Recipe Book
9. www.aus.xanadu.com/GlassWings/food/recipe.html Glass Wings
Dessert Recipes
10. www.virtualvin.com Virtual Vineyards


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SURVEYS
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1. Are you using:
A) Less than a 14.4 Modem
B) 14.4
C) 28.8
D) ISDN
E) Above ISDN

2. What is you favorite computer game?

3. Do you like:
A) M&Ms
B) Skittles

E-mail "laya@juno.com" with your opinions. Title the "subject" as
"surveys."
It will remain anonymous. Just include your answers. You do not have to
answer all of them. The results will be posted in the next issue!

You can submit a survey you want to conduct by e-mailing
"laya@juno.com" Title the "subject" as "new surveys."

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THE TOP 5 & 10 & 20
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--- TOP 5 SONGS IN THE BAY AREA ---

5. I ain't Mad at Cha - 2Pac
4. Toss It Up - Makaveli
3. Let's Ride - RichieRich
2. Aaliyah - One in a Million
1. To Live and Die in L.A. - Makaveli

--- TOP 20 1996 COMPUTER GAMES ---
[In Alphabetical Order]
Afterlife
AH-64D Longbow
Bad Mojo
Civilization II
Close Combat
Duke Nukem 3d
Fantasy General
Link LS
Mission Force: Cyberstorm
The Neverhood
The Pandora Directive
Quake
Screamer
Silent Hunter
Star Control 3
Terra Nova: Strike Force Centauri
Warcraft2: Tides of Darkness and Beyond the Dark Portal
Wing Commander IV: The Price of Freedom
Z
Zork: Nemesis

--- TOP 10 SUPER NINTENDO GAMES ---

10. Ken Griffey Jr's Winning Run
9. Super Mario Kart
8. Final Fantasy III
7. Killer Instinct
6. Super Metro
5. Chrono Trigger
4. Tetris Attack
3. Super Mario RPG
2. The Legend of Zelda: A Like to the Past
1. Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble

--- TOP 5 NINTENDO 64 GAMES ---

5. Mario Kart 64
4. Killer Instinct Gold
3. Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire
2. Wave Race 64
1. Super Mario 64

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MYSTERY MESSAGES
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If you have a message you want someone to see, you can e-mail that
message to "laya@juno.com" Title the "subject" as "Mystery Messages" and
in the next issue, we will print all the messages we receive. The message
CAN remain anonymous(please specify).
Please make the message appropriate with no put downs.

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LOS ALTOS HIGH SCHOOL CALENDAR
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JANUARY
15-17 Final Exams
17 End of First Sem.
20 Martin Luther King Holiday
21 Teachers in Service/No School
27 Teachers in Service/No School

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EGAN INTERMEDIATE SCHOOL CALENDAR
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JANUARY
6 Classes resume
20 Martin Luther King Holiday
24 School Dance, 7:00 - 9:00 p.m.
27 Students do not attend school -- End of second quarter

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LAYA's STAFF...
Compiled, edited, designed, and approved by:

Robert Chin
Editorial Director
robertchin@akamail.com

Daniel Cheng
Designer
dancheng@akamail.com

Chris Lin
Director of Submissions
cclin@worldnet.att.net

Scott Chiang
Public Relations
illuminator@juno.com

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If you have questions, comments, or suggestions,
please e-mail "laya@juno.com"
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For example: subscribe anonymous@anon.com
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"laya@juno.com"
Mailing lists will NOT be given out, with NO exceptions.
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