<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>> L A Y A ! [ e L e t t e r f o r A m e r i c a n Y o u n g A d u l t s ] h t t p : / / w w w . l a y a . c o m <<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>> VOLUME III ISSUE 11 NOVEMBER 1998 T A B L E O F C O N T E N T S . . . ---------------------------------------------------------------------- - A NOTE FROM THE STAFF - REFLECTIONS || SNOITCELFER - RESUME MISTAKES - TO BE ALL YOU CAN BE: HONOR AMONG ANTS - TOP TEN/BIBLE/COLLEGE STUDENTS =================================================== AMAZON.COM There's no easier, faster way to buy the books you love! Have them delivered with convenience right to your front door -- guaranteed lowest prices! Click below to visit amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect-home/laya =================================================== <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> A N O T E F R O M T H E S T A F F <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> You have mail! (just kidding) Welcome to the November issue of LAYA! LAYA will be moving to a new web server soon, so the site may be inaccessible for up to a week. LAYA will now have a dedicated connection, hoping to serve your needs better. Any suggestions? comments? Let us know. Do you know a teenager that has cancer? Visit this site and share your experiences, and learn how the author combated cancer himself. http://easyweb.easynet.co.uk/~tfrg/ Enjoy! The LAYA Staff <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> R E F L E C T I O N S || S N I O T C E L F E R <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> Would you like to buy a Russian space shuttle? 1/4 the size of the US shuttles, it's on sale at a starting bid of 100k! Hmm. Too bad it looks like a non-operating item... http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=40868497 National Game Review brings us the first news of iMac's successor, the chiaMac! the chiaMac will also combine cutting edge technology and controversial hardware. The chiaMac will feature a clap-on clap-off device, the first computer of its kind with this feature! The growth of chia around the top of the machine is it's most appealing feature. Read the complete article: http://www.nationalgamereview.com/98.11.16/chiamac.html Many times you may have wondered why the iMac is so popular. Maybe it's because of it's convenient snooze button. Check out the chart at The Onion: http://www.theonion.com/onion3413/infograph_3413.html Had a bad day? Bad grades? Vent your anger at Flamewar central: http://www.netbabbler.com/goto/index.php3?forumid=9717 Ever wonder what drives Boston drivers? A few Tips for Better Driving from the progressing Massachusetts Driver Education Manual: [131.16d]: "Directional signals are generally not used except during vehicle inspection; however, a left-turn signal is appropriate when making a U-turn on a divided highway." [96.7b]: "When paying tolls, remember that it is necessary to release the quarter a full 3 seconds before passing the basket if you are traveling more than 60 MPH." [110.13]: "When traveling on a one-way street, stay to the right, so as not to interfere with oncoming traffic." During a grouse hunt in North Carolina, two intrepid sportsmen were blasting away at a clump of trees near a stone wall. Suddenly a red-face country squire popped his head over the wall and shouted, "Hey, you almost hit my wife!" "Did I?" cried one hunter, aghast. "Terribly sorry. Have a shot a mine, over there." Robert Chin robert@laya.com ------------------------------------------ To respond to this article, either click on the link below, or copy and paste it into your web browser: http://www.laya.com/rsp.cgi?id=rfl01&sec=esy01 <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> R E S U M E M I S T A K E S <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> How bad a mistake can you make on your resume? Here are some real-life examples: *"My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable." *"Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting." *"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store." * "Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet." * "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse." * "I am a rabid typist." *"Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side." * "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business." * "Proven ability to track down and correct erors." * "Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far." *"I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one." *"References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me." * "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer." * "Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers." * "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteroology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage." * "I procrastinate--especially when the task is unpleasant." * "I am loyal to my employer at all costs ..Please feel free to resond to my resume on my office voicemanil." * "Qualifications: No education or experience." * "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets." * "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department." * "Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!" * Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!" <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> TO BE ALL YOU CAN BE: HONOR AMONG ANTS <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> Kingdom Animalia-phylum Arthopoda-class Insecta. These humble, little creatures rule the planet. From biology class to agriculture, kids and adults alike have been captivated (whether from horror or curiosity, only they can say) by bugs. In Hollywood, bugs have remained the evil villains (remember "Arachnophobia." However, just recently, Antz marched its way through the theater doors, and A Bug's Life is on its way. Finally, a more insightful, higher-order look at the insect world will reach the masses. Yes, bugs do have feelings. It's that time of the year again-the Annual Ant Infestation. Here come the infantry, marching in from a crack in the porch door. There's a reconnaissance mission: scouts are the most fun to watch. One lone ant wends his way over no-ant's-land-the carpet. It tumbles along through the unforgiving buttes and mesas and-blink. It's gone. Straining eyes scouring carpet. Ah! Up the whitewashed wall. Why don't they ever travel in straight lines? Oh, of course! Creative expression, freedom of speech. And not obsessive-compulsive like me. What's this? Yet another! Their paths intersect; they bump into each other, bewildered and continue on their way. Perhaps their hive mind eliminates rambling chitchat. I squash one. No, I'm not sadistic, just making sure their population doesn't skyrocket past carrying capacity. The first dutiful ant doubles back. Uh-oh, I hope he won't attack me. No, he comes back for the fresh casualty and gently loads the cadaver into his mandibles. Wow. I feel guilty. As the weighed-down scout crawls across the stark wall, my finger lands in front of it. The ant stops and then goes around. I move my finger again. Same. My finger chases the scout, threatening to lazily drop and crush it. The ant scurries away, never once hesitating, still bearing its dead. Are humans as noble, as duty-bound, as morally obliged? How strange that I am moved by an insignificant, miniscule beast. Or is bringing back the dead merely a rule from the hive-mind government, a ritualistic, cold task? I will set aside my cynicism. If in war, men are beasts, then do they follow the conduct of that lone ant? Risk their own life for the honor of their dead comrade? Would I? Kristine Yu ------------------------------------------ To respond to this article, either click on the link below, or copy and paste it into your web browser: http://www.laya.com/rsp.cgi?id=kris01&sec=xevf01 <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> T O P T E N / B I B L E / C O L L E G E S T U D E N T S <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> Top Ten Ways The Bible Would Have Been Different If Written By College Students. 10) Loaves and fishes replaced by pizza and chips. 9) Ten Commandments are actually only five, but because they are double- spaced and written in a large font, they look like ten. 8) Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't dorm food. 7) Paul's letters to the Romans become Paul's E-Mail to the Romans. 6) Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates. 5) The place where the end of the world occurs - not the Plains of 4) Book of Armaments would be in there somewhere. 3) Reason why Moses and followers walked in the desert for 40 years: They didn't want to stop and ask for directions and look like Freshman. 2) Tower of Babel blamed for Foreign Language requirement. and -- 1) Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter and hoped no one noticed. Taken From The SFSU Presidential Scholars Listserv ====================================================================== ====================================================================== L A Y A ' s S T A F F . . . Robert Chin President robert@laya.com Serena Chang Editor/Lead Writer serena@laya.com Daniel Cheng Layout & Design daniel@laya.com Chris Lin Perspective Editor chris@laya.com LAYA! looks best viewed with 10 point Arial font. ********************************************************************** If you have questions, comments, or suggestions, please e-mail "info@laya.com" ********************************************************************** SUBMIT AN ARTICLE! E-mail "submissions@laya.com" with your article. If this article was not written by you, we'd like to know who wrote it and what their e-mail address is. If it is your article, please include your name and your e-mail address. Your article may also be published anonymously (please tell us this in the e-mail). The article should be appropriate for 7-12th graders. ********************************************************************** TO SUBSCRIBE A FRIEND, e-mail "listserv@laya.com" with any subject, and in the message write "subscribe " (without the quotation marks, respectively) and then your friend's e-mail address. Or, you may subscribe through http://www.laya.com For example: subscribe anonymous@anon.com ********************************************************************** TO BE REMOVED FROM THIS SUBSCRIPTION, e-mail "listserv@laya.com" with any subject, and in the message, write "unsubscribe" (without the quotation marks, respectively) ********************************************************************** ARTICLE REPRINT REQUESTS of this and back issues may be sent to "webmaster@laya.com" Mailing lists will NOT be given out, with NO exceptions. ********************************************************************** ~~~~~ LAYA! ~~~~~ (c) copyright 1998 by LAYA!