<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>> L A Y A ! [ e L e t t e r f o r A m e r i c a n Y o u n g A d u l t s ] h t t p : / / w w w . l a y a . c o m <<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>> VOLUME III ISSUE 10 OCTOBER 1998 T A B L E O F C O N T E N T S . . . ---------------------------------------------------------------------- - A NOTE FROM THE STAFF - WHERE HAVE ALL THE FEMALES GONE? - PART 1 of 2 - HALLOWEEN JOKE - REFLECTIONS || SNOITCELFER - BLACK MAGIC - CARSON =================================================== AMAZON.COM There's no easier, faster way to buy the books you love! Have them delivered with convenience right to your front door -- guaranteed lowest prices! Click below to visit amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect-home/laya =================================================== <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> A N O T E F R O M T H E S T A F F <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> Welcome to the LAYA! birthday issue! Seeing that our staff has been flooded with extracurricular activities including cross-country, music practice, homework, school newspaper, yearbook, and the like, we're running slightly behind schedule (not that this really matters, but oh well :P). We, uh, apologize for any inconviences this may have caused (like if a certain article was supposed to become your latest English paper--not to give you any ideas or anything). Anyhow, back to the point (in other words, some not-so-interesting information). LAYA was started in 1996 as the "Los Altos Young Adults eLetter," with a subscriber base of approximately 60. Over time, LAYA expanded throughout the entire United States, not to mention subscribers from over 20 other countries. In an ending note, LAYA is always open to article suggestions and ideas. Have a spark of brilliant genius but are just too lazy to put it to paper? Just e-mail serena@laya.com --Enjoy! The LAYA! Staff <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> W H E R E H A V E A L L T H E F E M A L E S G O N E ? <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> Part 1 of 2 Call me paranoid, call me P.C., but why is it that nearly every single book that students read in school feature male main characters? Moreover, the books that do have females in their leading roles generally seem to be disliked by students. So far this year, our sophomore english class has read "Dandelion Wine" by Ray Bradbury, "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" by Jean-Dominique Bauby, and "Bless Me, Ultima" by Rudolfo Anaya. All feature male-dominated stores: a boy's summer memories, a man's struggles with "locked-in" syndrome, another boy's struggles with religion and growing up. I'm not denouncing these texts, but only the latter contains a strong, confident female role. Nevertheless, Ultima is not the ideal feminine protagonist. She's shadowed by young Antonio throughout the novel, and practices voodoo. What message does that convey to readers? Likewise, Maria, Antonio's mother, is a Catholic fanatic whom many students label negatively. Other books, such as "Siddhartha," "Of Mice and Men," "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn," "The Great Gatsby," "Macbeth," and "Hamlet"-no matter what their literary merit may be-often either over-feminize women or simply just brush them aside. For example, characters such as Curley's wife ("Mice and Men"), Daisy ("Gatsby"), Lady Macbeth ("Macbeth"), and Ophelia ("Hamlet") aren't exactly the role models that I'd want my daughters to look up to. Again, I'm not says that these books aren't worthy of being read; as a matter of fact, "Gastby" and "Macbeth" are two of my all-time favorites. But perhaps it's time for a revolution in school mandated texts. In freshmen English, I can only recall "The House on Mango Street," about a Hispanic girl and her community, as having predominately female characters. However, student feedback on that book consisted mostly of griping. Its content and technique seemed more suitable for junior high readers, and I yearned for something more insightful and challenging. Scout, in "To Kill a Mockingbird," is a good female role, but she usually serves as a shadow to Jem, Dill, and the other male characters. Juliet is a strong leading female, but the other people in Shakespeare's tragic play are predominately male. And for this year, "A Yellow Raft in Blue Water" is about three generations of women in a Native American family. Unfortunately, many students brushed it off as "one of the worst books I've ever read." Last year, our school paper published an article regarding English required novels, and another student was quoted saying something to the likes of, "That book was an insult to my intelligence." Books shouldn't always have to be this way. Next month: what schools can do about their male dominated book choices. Serena Chang serena@laya.com ------------------------------------------ To respond to this article, either click on the link below, or copy and paste it into your web browser: http://www.laya.com/rsp.cgi?id=ser01&sec=fre01 <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> H A L L O W E E N J O K E <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. "Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?" "Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!" <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> R E F L E C T I O N S || S N I O T C E L F E R <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> I can finally live at home now. And never leave. There's no need to travel anywhere...I can buy groceries and receive door-to-door delivery, buy books online (http://www.laya.com/amazon), purchase music CDs, videos, computers and software, and even telecommute! If something's broken, I can call someone in to fix it...no need to leave my home! Did you know? A physicist wants to clone himself. The odd thing is that although he wants to clone himself, he's implanting the embryo in his wife. Police caught a man yesterday in San Francisco climbing in through an apartment building window, a burglar in the act. When the police arrived at the door, it turned out he simply had locked himself out of his home -- instead he was arrested for possessing illegal drugs. This year is the year of the ocean. Meanwhile you can read about frozen dog poop being used for DNA testing: http://www.wired.com/news/news/technology/story/14842.html Tired of those wonderful motivational posters plastered on walls around the nation? Seek replacements. Demotivational posters -- this is a must see. http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Arc/2009/demotivation/agony.html Students lost their grades in Uganda when rats ate the computer wiring. In a bad mood? Complain about it at flamewar central. http://www.netbabbler.com/goto/index.php3?forumid=9717 News of interest? The American Computer Company has developed a 12 Terahertz processor based on technology from the Roswell Aliens. http://www.american-computer.com/roswell.html A last note of inspiration: what color is a chameleon on a mirror? Robert Chin robert@laya.com ------------------------------------------ To respond to this article, either click on the link below, or copy and paste it into your web browser: http://www.laya.com/rsp.cgi?id=rfl01&sec=esy01 <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> B L A C K M A G I C <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most. "When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" They believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs, and strange sounds at all hours. He was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished. He died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, the wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions: Are you not afraid? Concerned? Worried? that this man who practiced black magic and stated when he died he would dig his way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life? The wife put down her drink and said..."let the old fool dig. I had him buried upside down." <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> C A R S O N <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> He peeked around the jagged, splintered, redwood wall, glancing at all the faces, searching for his mortal enemy. As he realized his enemy was not there, he proudly entered the old bar, his hands in his large, denim jeans, and his head capped by a long and narrow sombrero. Slowly he approached the large table where five people sat, playing a card game. He nodded to the man on the right, and said, "Ya seen um?" To which the card player replied with a single, solemn word, "Nope." As if a great insult had humiliated him, he raised a single eyebrow, questioning his reaction. Ever so slowly he turned his gaze, and walked up to the bartender. "Beer. Dark." He took a deep breath, "On the double." The bartender quickly poured him some beer from a green bottle, realizing who was giving the orders. Looking around, he seemed to examine all of the bar - as he always did - noticing the faint blue paint on the floor moldings1 that had once livened up everything - but had long since lost its lust and shimmer. He then quickly dumped all of his beer into his mouth with one quick motion, turned around, and once again looking at all of the faces, suspiciously. Swallowing his beer with a large gulp, he turned and slowly walked out of the bar, not noticing the two swinging doors that swung in and out behind him. He stepped off the wooden planks, and into the road. Sauntering toward the town square, he kicked up large amounts of dust when he walked, with his large, black, shiny boots. The dust smelled of horse droppings and mud puddles, reminding one of the many events that had taken place. The streets were empty, as if something eventful were to occur. He was on the cautious side of his personality, but not cautious enough, because at that moment, a cold, round tube was pushed into his back. "Ya should've I'd b' look'n for ya. This ain't over b'tween us broth'r," he pronounced 'r' with an emphasis, "aft'r we was arr'sted for that bank robb'ry, we've been look'n for rev'nge, ya know. Ya bett'r watch ya back, cousin, or your gonna find yourself wish'n you was nev'r born, got it?" "Johnny Carson. I'd recognize that voice anywhere." "Yea, well I'll be seen' ya. Now, count to twenty. Slowly.", He exaggerated slowly, "Or I'll shoot ya right here. On the spot. Just though I'd give ya a war'ning, old pal. Watch ya back." Johnny removed the long, black powder rifle from our hero's back. "Start count'n." When the time was up he turned around, and Johnny was no longer there. His stomach sank, and he wondered when he would finally have to face Carson, although he knew it would be today. Johnny's lust to kill him was far great er since the bank incident. Time passed ever so slowly as he waited for the attack. He walked for over three hours before he noticed a man standing on the balcony across the street. He walked briskly, keeping his hand on the well-worn wooden handle of his pistol. At that moment a small boy ran up to him and said, "Hey, you know that guy up there? He's one of Carson's men. You've got to shoot him. He's keeping an eye on you. Probably got one hand on his binoculars and one hand on his gun. You've got to get rid of him." "Yea, right, kid." "No, really-" at that moment a gun shot rang out. He took cover and brought out his gun, although he knew he had no chance against his 7 men. He dodged right and hit one, who fell off the balcony, instantly shattering his back. Running toward his home he ran into another one of Carson's men, on whom he used the butt of his hand gun to bash the partner's head. "Two down. 5 to go." He whispered. His will to live gave him an instant burst of adrenaline which kept him going. One by one, he shot them. "4…", he dodge left, rolled and shot, "3…", he ran and tripped, doing a somersault and getting back up,"2…" He knew his best change would be to run. He started to turn around when suddenly he lurched forward, feeling that cold, familiar, intruding rifle, once again in his back. He knew what Johnny wanted to do, and he knew he had the will and the power to do it. He closed his eyes, prayed, and prepared himself for death. He opened his mouth, wanting to plead for his life, but his honor and will kept him from doing so. He kept his spirits high, "Please god, please." The next moment passed by as if it were hours. It seemed forever until Carson said: "Ya killed 6 of my best men. Now, I think it'll only be fair if I return the favor." By: Robert Chin robert@laya.com ------------------------------------------ To respond to this article, either click on the link below, or copy and paste it into your web browser: http://www.laya.com/rsp.cgi?id=rob01&sec=ebo01 ====================================================================== ====================================================================== L A Y A ' s S T A F F . . . Robert Chin President robert@laya.com Serena Chang Editor/Lead Writer serena@laya.com Daniel Cheng Layout & Design daniel@laya.com Chris Lin Perspective Editor chris@laya.com LAYA! looks best viewed with 10 point Arial font. ********************************************************************** If you have questions, comments, or suggestions, please e-mail "info@laya.com" ********************************************************************** SUBMIT AN ARTICLE! E-mail "submissions@laya.com" with your article. If this article was not written by you, we'd like to know who wrote it and what their e-mail address is. If it is your article, please include your name and your e-mail address. Your article may also be published anonymously (please tell us this in the e-mail). The article should be appropriate for 7-12th graders. ********************************************************************** TO SUBSCRIBE A FRIEND, e-mail "listserv@laya.com" with any subject, and in the message write "subscribe " (without the quotation marks, respectively) and then your friend's e-mail address. 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