L   A   Y   A   ! [ e L e t t e r  f o r  A m e r i c a n  Y o u n g  A d u l t s ]         h t t p : / / w w w . l a y a . c o m <<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>>><<<>> VOLUME III    ISSUE 5    MAY 1998 T A B L E  O F  C O N T E N T S . . . ---------------------------------------------------------------------- - A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR - THE EVOLUTION OF A LIFESTYLE (PART 3) - MICHAEL JORDAN - ACTUAL BUSINESS SIGNS L A Y A ! looks best when viewed with 10 point Arial font. <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>     A  N O T E  F R O M  T H E  E D I T O R <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> Hello everyone-an extremely belated happy mother's day to all those mothers out there! Never mind. This is a TEEN newsletter, after all. Anyways, welcome to another issue of your FAVORITE e-letter, LAYA! (by the way, have I ever mentioned how sarcastic I tend to be?) So, as I was saying, this month, we have part three of "Evolution of a Lifestyle." And let me apologize in advance to everyone out there (especially those English teachers) for the pointlessness of that article (I know, I know...I wrote it, and YES, I do realize how awful it is). But as we quote our friends at FunnyTown (http://www.funnytown.com): "Without Seinfeld, the only thing left is junk like this." Okay…that's enough rambling from me for this month, so on a final note for you high schoolers out there: FINALS ARE COMING UP, SO YOU'D BETTER STOP LOOKING AT YOUR E-MAIL AND START STUDYING!!! (but finish reading this issue first...) And good luck on those AP exams scores to whom it may concern... Serena Chang serena@laya.com <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>   T H E E V O L U T I O N O F A L I F E S T Y L E <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> Part III of IV Over the decades, life as a teen has changed dramatically (to say the least). From Flower Power to political correctness, from "when I was your age…" to "kids have it too easy nowadays." On the contrary though, many parents of current teens NEVER say, "When I was your age, I went to bed at two in the morning," or "When I was your age, I had to do community service to graduate from high school." As a matter of fact, a number of parents haven't even heard about this new-fangled "community service." For as long as technology's impact on life increases, student's lives will become more and more complex. Computers, calculators, and spell checks will dominate, homework and community service requirements will expand, and social lives will flourish. So, it is only logical that sleeping time will decrease as time goes on. Life on the social scene--girls are asking guys for dates, new social rules are being applied, and equality dominates. I mean, in a decade where there's a dance created especially for the purpose of girls asking guys (also known as Sadie Hawkins, for the less social people out there) there's bound to be some weird kinks for teens to deal with. In a previously male dominated world, times are changing, and they're changing fast. As previously mentioned, guys are no longer expected to ask girls on dates. But now this leads to the problem of "making the first move," so to speak. Girls still expect guys to ask, while guys are uncertain what to do-should they wait, or actually act? After all, life's no longer as simple as it was in the early twentieth century. Fountain drinks being shared by a couple (with the guy paying, of course), girlfriends cooking dinner for their guys--these are becoming pictures of the past. Women are now demanding equality, and along with this comes the factor of money. Girls are expecting to be equals in every factor-except for paying. As the assumption goes, guys are simply paying for a night in bed, along with dinner and a date. And since kissing a girl goodnight can now be called sexual harassment, there's no blaming guys for being lost. Serena Chang Serena@laya.com <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>   M I C H A E L  J O R D A N <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> Michael Jordan will make over $300,000 a game, which is $10,000 a minute (assuming he averages about 30 minutes per game.) Assuming $40 million in endorsements next year, he'll be making $178,100 a day (working or not)! Assuming he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 while visions of sugarplums dance in his head. If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there. If he decides to have a 5-minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it. He makes $7,415 per hour more than minimum wage (after the recent wage hike) He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of "Friends." If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours. If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second. He would probably pay about $200 for a nice round of golf, but would be "reimbursed" $33,390 for that round. Assuming he put the federal maximum of 15% of his income into his tax deferred account (401k), he would have hit the federal cap of $9,500 for such accounts at 8:30 a.m. on January 1, 1997. If you were given a tenth of a penny for every dollar he made, you'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year. He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics. He'll make about $15,600 while the Boston Marathon is being run. While the average person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600. This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all of our past presidents for all of their terms combined. Amazing isn't it? BUT: JORDAN WILL HAVE TO SAVE 100% OF HIS INCOME FOR 270 YEARS TO HAVE A NET WORTH EQUIVALENT TO THAT OF BILL GATES. <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>   A C T U A L  B U S I N E S S  S I G N S <>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<> On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts." Outside a radiator repair shop: "Best place in town to take a leak." In a non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." On a maternity room door: "Push, Push, Push." On a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog." At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." On a scientist's door: "Gone Fission" On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff." In a podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels." On a butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs." On another butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you." At a used car lot: "Second hand cars in first crash condition." On a fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive." At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet--miss a car payment." Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming." Outside a hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people." In a dry cleaner's emporium: "Drop your pants here." On a desk in a reception room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left." In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" On a music teacher's door: "Out Chopin." At an electric company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be." In a beauty shop: "Dye now!" On the door of a computer store: "Out for a quick byte." In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry--come in and get fed up." Inside a bowling alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop." On the door of a music library: "Bach in a minuet." In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully; we'll wait." In a counselor's office: "Growing old is mandatory. Growing wise is optional." ====================================================================== ====================================================================== L A Y A ' s S T A F F . . . Robert Chin President robert@laya.com Daniel Cheng Layout & Design daniel@laya.com Chris Lin Perspective Editor chris@laya.com Serena Chang Editor/Lead Writer serena@laya.com ********************************************************************** If you have questions, comments, or suggestions, please e-mail "info@laya.com" ********************************************************************** SUBMIT AN ARTICLE! E-mail "submissions@laya.com" with your article. If this article was not written by you, we'd like to know who wrote it and what their e-mail address is. If it is your article, please include your name and your e-mail address. Your article may also be published anonymously (please tell us this in the e-mail). 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